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Forgot your password? Retrieve it. TV Shows. This dark comedy from was a good showcase for Winona Ryder, playing a high school girl brought into a clique of bitchy classmates all named Heather , and Christian Slater, doing his early Jack Nicholson thing. While Ryder's character mulls over the consequences of giving up one set of friends for another, her association with a new boy Slater in school turns out to have deadly consequences.
Director Michael Lehmann turned this unusual film into something more than another teen-death flick. There is real wit and sharp satire afoot, and the very fusion of horror and comedy is provocative in itself.
Heathers remains a kind of benchmark in contemporary cinema for bringing surreal intelligence into Hollywood films. Heathers Screenplay » Edit Buy. Year: 16, Views. Veronica Sawyer: Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there. Heather McNamara: Yeah, where's your urge to purge? Kurt Kelly: Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags allowed rule? Heather Chandler: Corn Nuts! Veronica Sawyer: Plain or BQ? Heather Chandler: BQ! Veronica Sawyer: What is your damage, Heather?
Heather Chandler: Grow up, Heather. Bulimia's so ' Heather Duke: Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
I don't really like your friends either. Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock: I'd like that. Veronica Sawyer: Yeah. Me too. Heather McNamara: It's your turn Heather. Heather Chandler: No, Heather, it's Heather's turn. Heather Duke: Sorry Heather. Veronica Sawyer: Lick it up, baby. Lick it up. Veronica's Dad: Will someone tell me why I smoke these damn things? Veronica Sawyer: Because you're an idiot.
Veronica's Dad: Oh yeah, that's it. Veronica Sawyer: This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle. Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing. Veronica Sawyer: This may seem like a really stupid question Courtney: If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless.
Every cent. Veronica Sawyer: You're beautiful. Veronica Sawyer: I say we just grow up, be adults and die. Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits. Heather Duke: Because I can be.
Catch a movie? Miniature golf? Veronica Sawyer: I just killed my best friend. Veronica Sawyer: Same difference. Veronica Sawyer: She's my best friend. God, I hate her. Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell. Veronica Sawyer: Thanks, I just got back. Veronica Sawyer: Heather, my love, there's a new sheriff in town. Heather Chandler: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast or something?
Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son. Veronica Sawyer: No, I'm a Veronica. Veronica Sawyer: That knife is filthy. Heather Chandler: He used a real gun. They should throw his ass in jail.
Brad: Save the speeches for Malcolm X, I just want to get laid. Veronica Sawyer: So what's the question. Heather Duke: Yeah, so what's the question Heather. Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch? Heather Chandler : Grow up Heather, bulimia's so ' Heather Duke : [ playing croquet ] So what are you gonna do Heather? Take two shots or send me out? Heather Chandler : Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red, knowing that I'm always red. Heather Chandler : It's your turn, Heather.
Heather McNamara : It's your turn Heather. Heather Chandler : No, Heather, it's Heather's turn. Veronica Sawyer : I'm on my way to a party at Remington University No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends. I don't really like your friends either.
Veronica Sawyer : Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit. Veronica Sawyer : Hey, Martha.
My date for the prom kinda flaked out on me. I was wondering, If you weren't doing anything that night, maybe we could rent some new releases and pop some popcorn. Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock : I'd like that.
Veronica Sawyer : She's my best friend. God, I hate her. Let's take a look at some of the homosexual artifacts I dug up to plant at the scene. Got an issue of "Stud Puppy. Joan Crawford postcard. Let's see, some mascara. All right. And here's the one perfecto thing I picked up. Mineral water. Veronica Sawyer : Oh, come on, a lot of people drink mineral water, it's come a long way. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress. Veronica Sawyer : Oh, you're so smart.
Veronica Sawyer : It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
Courtney : If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless. Every cent. Veronica Sawyer : You're beautiful. Veronica Sawyer : I say we just grow up, be adults and die. Veronica Sawyer : Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Heather, a world where I am free. Heather Chandler : [ sticker inside locker ] I shop, therefore I am. Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life? Catch a movie? Miniature golf? Veronica Sawyer : I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide.
I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean. Veronica Sawyer : That's good but Heather would never use the word myriad. Veronica Sawyer : She missed 'myriad' on the vocab test two weeks ago. The word is a badge for her failures at school.
Heather Duke : Hi, everybody. Door was open. Veronica, did you hear? We were doing Chinese at the food fair, when it comes over the radio that Martha Dumptruck tried to buy the farm. She belly-flopped in front of a car wearing a suicide note.
Heather Duke : No She's alive, and in stable condition. Just another case of a geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably. Veronica Sawyer : [ slaps Heather ].
Veronica Sawyer : [ camera cuts to Veronica's room ] I said I was sorry! Heather Duke : You were out of control! I mean Heather and Kurt were a shock but Martha Dumptruck? Get crucial! She was dialing suicide hotlines in her diapers! Veronica Sawyer : Ugh Heather Chandler : Is this turnout weak or what? I had at least 70 more people at my funeral. Heather Chandler : God, Veronica.
My afterlife is so boring. I have to sing Kumbaya one more time Veronica Sawyer : What are you doing here? Heather Chandler : I made your favorite. With lots of oregano. Veronica Sawyer : [ wakes up from dream ]. Heather Chandler : You were nothing before you met me.
You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie. Veronica Sawyer : If you think I'm doing another suicide note you're wrong! Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think upon itself.
Nobody is going to care about exact handwriting. Rodney : Ok, now I rarely listen to Neanderthals like Kurt Kelly but he said that he and Ram had a nice little sword fight in your mouth last night. Veronica Sawyer : Ew! That son of a bitch. Veronica Sawyer : [ praying over Heather's casket ] Hi, I'm sorry.
Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nicer place. Did that sound bitchy? Veronica Sawyer : The cops? This is my life. Oh, my God. I'll have to send my S. Veronica Sawyer : My parents wanted to move me into high school out of the sixth grade, but we decided to chuck the idea because I'd have trouble making friends, blah, blah, blah.
Now blah, blah, blah is all I ever do. I use my grand IQ to decide what color lip gloss to wear in the morning and how to hit three keggers before curfew Ram Sweeney : [ praying in Heather's funeral ] Jesus God in Heaven, why'd you have to kill such hot snatch?
Ram Sweeney : It's a joke man. Geez, people are so serious. Ram Sweeney : Holy Mary who art in Heaven pray for us sinners Veronica Sawyer : I really don't like my friends.
Veronica Sawyer : They are just people I work with and and our "job" is being popular and shit. Veronica Sawyer : Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there. Heather McNamara : Yeah, where's your urge to purge?
Heather Chandler : Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games. Heather Chandler : Veronica. I got a note of Kurt Kelly's. I need you to forge a hot and horny but realistically low-key note in Kurt's handwriting, and we'll slip it onto Martha Dumptruck's lunch tray.
Heather Chandler : You don't have anything for her either. Come on, it'll be very. The note'll give her shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks. Veronica Sawyer : I'll think about it. Heather Duke : Veronica, can you come back here a minute? Veronica Sawyer : A true friend's work is never done. Heather Duke : Some people need different kinds of convincing than others.
Heather McNamara : God, aren't they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa? Veronica Sawyer : Oh, sure. Well at least you got what you wanted, you know? It is one thing to want somebody out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer. Fast, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. If she were going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless. Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa? Pilgrims, Indians, Tater Tots.
Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch? Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.
I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. Heathers lovers, which are your favorite quotes? What did I leave out? Sound off in the comments. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.
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